Purpose in Disability?

02 Thursday May 2013

Posted by in Growing Up: Personal Stories from Then and Now, Kim, Spina Bifida

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When I worked in the hospital, my very first patient was a man who had a severe childhood injury. Complications from that injury eventually led to surgery that left him handicapped beyond anything I could have imagined. I felt pity for his loss, anger for his suffering, and grief for missed opportunities and experiences. Questions kept pouring through my head…

I questioned if his life was really worth living.

I know. It is not my place to judge, but sometimes you can’t help thoughts that well up. I ended up speaking with my dad about it, a very wise man.  He said something I will never forget.

“Kim, every person, EVERY person, is made in the image of God. It is this fact that makes us valuable and precious.”

That was before I had a special needs baby.  When we found out that JAK had Spina Bifida, all those uncomfortable, faith-challenging thoughts came back in full force.  Why was JAK made “flawed?”  Why would God allow suffering in someone so very small and helpless? Would his life really be worth living? Then the Lord started to show me some scripture…in Jeremiah of all places. No, it wasn’t Jeremiah 29:11, I had even forgotten that verse was in Jeremiah! Nope, He showed me Jeremiah 1:5,

“Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: ’Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations’” (NKJV).

God calls our children to a purpose even before they are born. He made them, and He knew exactly how JAK was formed. Our children are valuable and full of purpose.  Even those kids who have special needs. Maybe especially for those kids.  Long before JAK came into this world, I had to surrender my sweet son into the hands of our Gracious Father. JAK’s life would never be in vain, whether he lived a moment or a million years.

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JAK at 18 months.

I want to share a few stories that have showed me about the preciousness of our special needs children:

‘Thomas’

I know a family whose firstborn baby was diagnosed in utero with Trisomy 13.  The couple decided to carry their son to term, even though the prognosis was terminal. Their handsome little man lived only for a short while after birth. You know how daddy reacted? He said,

“‘Thomas’ wasn’t created for this world…he was made for heaven.”

‘James’

When JAK was born, he was placed in a bassinet in the NICU next to a beautiful little 4-month old baby boy, “James.” He had a shock of wild, curly black hair and sweet round cheeks.  His mother couldn’t come every day, but when she did, she would lean down and whisper lovely things into his ear.  One day, my husband was with JAK and I was away resting.  James’ mother was reading scripture over her little son, and my husband spoke up and welcomed her to read it a little louder. Well, she got between the boys’ beds and began praying and reading scripture over the both of them. When she was done, she bent over her baby’s curly head and said,

“James, you did that. Because of you, I got to do that.”

Shortly after we were discharged, James left this world to be with Jesus.  James had a purpose. He certainly blessed our life, and I will never forget him.

Kayli

One more story I would like to share. This is a story about Kayli, a sweet little miracle who has defied the odds by being a 4-year-old with Trisomy 18, a diagnosis that is “incompatible with life.” Read about her story here. When her mother was advocating early on for Kayli’s right to survive, she wrote this about her experience:

“I started asking everyone around Kayli to ‘take something from Kayli’.  There seemed to be an abundance of medical professionals and people surrounding her, who wanted her to die.  Instead of fighting them, I started telling them, ‘Kayli is here for a reason.  If you really want her to die…then you need to take something from her.  Take medical knowledge of Trisomy, take a stronger faith, take love…take…something… so she can fulfill her purpose.’  I left it all in their hands.  Every person who met Kayli, was told to take something from her.  After the odd looks, I would explain her mission.  She is a child of God, and is with us for a purpose.  All I ask, is that you Take Something From Kayli.  Take something from her, so she can serve her purpose, have eternal peace, and leave an everlasting testimony of God’s love for her and all other ‘imperfect’ children.  Take Something from Kayli…. now I ask, have YOU taken something from Kayli?” Source: http://trisomy18.blogspot.com/2013/04/kaylis-first-year-of-life.html

The fact is that God NEVER makes mistakes.  Each child was created with a purpose. They are fearfully and wonderfully made, and they reflect the glory of God.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

I would encourage people to check out the book, Just the Way I Am: God’s Good Design in Disability by Krista Horning. It is an incredible resource for any kid questioning how God made them.

God bless,

Kim

In the Past 26 Days

05 Friday Apr 2013

Posted by in Kim

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The past 26 days since our last post on the5bennettgirls have been pretty busy. There are some things that have happened behind the scenes, and I thought I would give you a quick run-down:

1. JAK got really sick with an ear infection that caused his temp to skyrocket to 105.6. Yep…scary. He is okay now, but he lost some ground with his physical therapy and he lost a good chunk of weight.JAK in his braces

You can see him here with his braces and shoes on standing at the chair. I love his little thigh rolls…we have worked hard for them!

2. I am a new couponer!

I have always wanted to coupon, but it takes a lot of time and dedication. I shop with my huge three ring binder filled with coupons now, and I love it.  Ahhh, the thrill of saving money! It does take a ton of time, though. So be forewarned! If anyone is interested in becoming some an “Extreme Couponer” or some variation thereof, check out this site:

http://thekrazycouponlady.com

3. I attended a seminar called “Understanding the Gut Brain: Stress, Appetite, Digestion & Mood” by Merrily Kuhn, RN, CCRN (r), PhD, ND, PhD. Over the next few months, I will likely put up some highlights of this very informative talk. I can’t wait to share!

4. Easter came and went

We spent Easter with my in-laws. It was crazy to say the least. My husband got sick and we were EXTREMELY late to church. Fortunately, we still got to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ! HE IS RISEN!

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 5. We redid our front flower beds!

Before:

Before Front Yard

After:

Front Yard After

So much better!

CELEBRATION!

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of JAK’s last shunt placement. We had been in the hospital three weeks at this point last year, and we were eager to get our little guy home.

May the Lord be praised for the incredible work that He has completed in JAK’s life.IMG_2029

“Great is Thy faithfulness,” O God my Father, There is no  shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail  not As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy  faithfulness!“   Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I  have needed Thy hand hath provided—     “Great is Thy  faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Source:  http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/19#ixzz2PbWOFHee

~Kim

Do gumballs really grow on trees?

10 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by in Growing Up: Personal Stories from Then and Now, Heather

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gumball treeI was a very literal child.I believed the facts just as they were told to me. One warm summer evening I was in the front yard with my dad while he was watering the yard. I saw these round things on the ground that had prickles on them. I asked him what they were and he said, “gumballs from the gumball tree.” Well! That is all he needed to say! We had gumballs all over the lawn and I wasn’t about to let them go to waste! I begin to gather them wondering the whole time how they would taste and if they were REALLY gumballs, but Dad said they were, so I believed him. After gathering a bunch of gumballs. I brought them over to my dad and showed him my bounty. He asked why I had gathered them and I said because they were gumballs! He then re-explained to a very disappointed little girl that they were not really gumballs that was just the name of the type of seed and they were round like a gumball.

 I still pretended that they were real.

heather signature

And now, the rest of the story…

liqsty20So, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the Sweetgum tree, here is what an actual “gumball” looks like.

Gumball

Yea. I’d like to chew on that a while. Hmmm.

This spikey little guy is the fruit of the tree, and it hold up to 50 seeds! A fun little fact: in the past, its sap has been used to make chewing gum! (Source).

I GUESS GUMBALLS REALLY DO GROW ON TREES!

Contributing image sources: microsoft clip art and here; Sweetgum tree and “gumball” source.

My Mommy Style: I Know You’ve Been There

06 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by in Beauty, Health & Fitness, Kim

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I am not trendy or fashionable. I am serviceable, aka boring.  As I sit here in my fuzzy slippers, oversized thrifted t-shirt, and grey soffe knock-offs, I have decided I need a game plan. So, I am taking a break from my normal couponing, dishes, and garden planning to look up ways to revamp my mommy-wardrobe.

I started with Elle. The experts have translated runway style into real life for those of us who prefer to look…hmmm…normal. Top trends this 2013 spring: cut outs, lace, leather, florals, gray, exposed tummy (no thanks), structured shirts and shorts, checkerboard patterns, and deeeeep V-necks (source).

Too complicated for me, and um, I live in central Texas…not exactly the epicenter of fashion. I need something a little more toned down. My little sister, Kate, would most likely disagree, though. She always says, “If you think you can pull it off, you probably can!” Thanks, Miss Put-Together.

So, after searching la internet, I am venturing out on my own, throwing all good advice aside. Yes, I have come up with my own official spring 2013 fashion fix:

1. Everyday jeans- I need a couple of really good pairs of jeans.

like these…

(Rerock Boot Cut Jeans, $98 from Express)

Express Jeans 1or these…

(Stella Thick Stitch Regular Fit Boot Cut Jean, $88 from Express)

Stella Jeans

I have always wanted to wear skinny jeans, imagining I will look like this…

The High-Waist Skinny Jeans, Blue Black

(source)

but, they looked a little more like this…

tapered_jeans

(source)

Yep, remember those turkey leg, tapered jeans from the 90s? Uh huh…I thought so! On a side note, if anyone ever pulls off any type of colored skinny jeans, let me know…I will be dutifully jealous.)

2. Accessorize- bracelets, necklaces, fun earrings

I jumped over the ever-popular Stella & Dot website to oogle a little over their green/turquoise jewelry:

     b242gr_zinnia_1e126tu_soiree_studs_1      e212gr_lily_1_1e221bl_seychelles_1      n352tu_maya_pendant_2_1n362_jolie_necklace_1

1. Zinnia Bracelet, $49; 2. Soiree Studs, $24; 3. Lily Chandeliers, $39;
4. Seychelles Chandeliers, $44; 5. Maya Pendant, $39; 6. Jolie Necklace, $79

2. Shoes- Not as much flips…they are flops. More cute flats, please!

How ’bout some fun shoes to jazz things up?
Nadine FlatsKim Flat

Nadine Flat, $33.46 (Nordstrom); Me Too ’Kim’ Flat, $53.56 (Nordstrom)

3. A New Tote- an easy way to add style.

handbag, anyone?

Toscanella_Italian_Leather_Satchel_Handbag_style_east_west_8643

Toscanella Italian Leather Satchel Handbag, $267

apparently, the old tote isn’t cutting it…

Diaper Bag

(source)

Yes, this is a picture of JAK’s diaper bag. Hmmm…

3. Haircut- Kim, STOP trimming your own hair. Obvious, I know, and no, I won’t give you any actual visuals. It has served me for now, but what will happen when I actually take my hair out of that ubiquitous granny knot? My husband still tells me I am beautiful, which counts even if he isn’t wearing his glasses, right?

5. Dresses- Nobody does pretty and feminine like Anthropologie. Here are some favorite dresses I found:

Angie Collared Dress, Anthropologie, $158

Angie Collared Dress by Anthropologie

Aurelian Brocade Dress,  Anthropologie $228Aurelian Brocade

I know I am not the only mom out there stuck in a funk.  What are your strategies for climbing out of the sweats-and-t-shirt cycle?

~Kim

The Soap Bubble Bamboozle

01 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by in Growing Up: Personal Stories from Then and Now, Heather

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Growing up, all of us had assigned chores. Some of the chores were rotated so that we all shared the responsibility and didn’t get tired of doing the same thing over and over. Sometimes we would trade chores with each other or pay the person to do our chores for the week. Allison and Beth were in charge of doing the dishes after dinner each night. They were the eldest and were tall enough to reach the sink. Kim and I were in charge of clearing the table after dinner. As Kim and I got older, Beth and Allison figured out that the only way to get out of doing dishes was to figure out away to make it look fun so that Kim and I would want to do the dishes.

I remember one night after dinner, Beth and Allison were doing the dishes. They were laughing and making soap bubbles. They made it look like the best thing in the whole world. In my innocence I went over to the sink and started watching. I made a comment about how much fun they were having and how I wished I could do the dishes. Well, they all too eagerly pulled up a stool for me to stand on and showed me how to wash the dishes. Before long, I was washing dishes and making soap bubbles. I then heard my mom say, “Well, you can reach the sink now! Looks like you are ready to start doing the dishes.” I think she is talking to Beth or Allison but when I look up I am the only one at the sink! My two older sisters abandoned me and set me up! And from that day on dishes became a chore not a wonderful soap bubble party.heather signature

31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband: Day 14

01 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by in Devotionals, Kim

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DAY14: Understanding

IMG_0062

“The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.”
Psalm 119:130, ESV

Definition: According to my trusty online Merriam-Webster dictionary, understanding is “the power of comprehending” (source).

I am, of course, referring to spiritual understanding…the ability to comprehend the depth of God’s will, His plan, and the need for Jesus Christ as our Savior.

My Prayer:

Dear Lord,

It is only through You that we can even begin to grasp Your truth (I Corinthians 2:14). I pray for my husband today that his mind would be continually renewed and be transformed so that he may understand Your will (Romans 12:2). May he trust in You exclusively for understanding and insight into every situation, and may he not rely on his own comprehension (Proverbs 3:5-6). I pray that You would be his shield and that You would give him knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 2:5-7). I thank You for giving my husband understanding of Christ and the significance of His sacrifice made for us (Colossians 2:2-3, 1 John 5:20). I pray that as he reads Your word, he would gain a new passion, and have insight that only comes from You (read Psalm 119). Thank You, Lord, that Your work is not complete and that You continue to reveal Yourself to us.

Amen

~Kim

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2, ESV

“The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” 1 Corinthians 2:14, ESV

“[T]hen you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity.” Proverbs 2:5-7, ESV

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV

”[T[hat their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3, ESV

“And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.” 1 John 5:20, ESV

Paper Fight: Tips for Organizing Clutter

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Crafts & Home Projects, Kim

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“If all of the mementos of your past are making your present miserable, then it’s time to use the garbage can!”
By Mom, paraphrase on de-cluttering

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Upon saying “I do” four and a half years ago, my husband and I combined our paper forces and I have been trying to figure out a way to manage them ever since. I have organized them in manila envelopes, purchased file boxes, looked up article after article on organization…and nothing has helped, until now.
About 3 months ago, I decided to utilize that shredder that has been sitting on the desk between the printer and dust-bunnies. Who knew the first step of de-cluttering is THROWING THINGS AWAY! Revolutionary, right?

Well, now you know that my advice will have a strong dose of the obvious, but it’s practical, and that’s why it works. Enjoy.

Step 1: Decide what is Important to keep around and what to toss.
Here is my list of important information that I know I need to have available:

Automotive
General Information
Receipts for work completed
Registration
Title
Financial
Bank Information
Employer Accounts
Investment Information
Home
Annual Tax Information
Deed/Title
Home Warranty Information
Purchase Agreement 
Insurance
Car Insurance
Identity Protection Insurance
Life Insurance
Health Insurance
Home Insurance
Life Insurance
Personal Papers
Birth Certificates
Marriage License
SSN cards
Wedding Pictures Back-Up
Receipts/ Warranty Information for Large Purchases
Appliances
Household (Furniture, lawn equipment, etc.)
Jewelry
Service Information
Cell Service
Electricity
Gas
Internet/Cable
Water
Tax information
Charitable Contributions
 W2 Forms
Tax information submitted from previous years
Tax-Specific Information

Some of this information can be digitized, and I recommend it (see Step 4.)

Step 2: Purchase a Shredder…oh, and USE it.
We are really big on protecting our financial identity, so I believe having a shredder is a must. Go through your old letters, mail, and receipts and decide what to toss, and what may have sensitive information that needs to be shredded. If you have the ability to recycling paper, go for it!

Step 3: File it.
Bring in the file boxes, neatly labeled according to the categories in Step 1. These are for the things that a hard copy is essential, like SSN cards, marriage license, birth certificates, etc. See the next step for really decluttering.

Step 4: Digitize it.
Have a digital copy of your personal information is an extra safeguard for you and your family in instances of natural disasters, theft, or even just plain “we lost it during the move” scenarios. I read somewhere that you may keep a digital copy at the home of a family member, just for extra insurance.
Go online and request that all bank statements, insurance updates, and bills be sent electronically instead of via snail mail. This makes life so much easier on the in-flow of paper junk. Then, purchase a scanner. This is my husband’s big solution. Almost all information can be organized digitally. You can use services like Neat Desk. Just make sure you back up your information on flash drives, discs or even via those fancy safe-guard services that are advertised by Rush Limbaugh and Dave Ramsey. Like Go To My PC. Organize your digital files according to Step 1.

Step 5: Maintenance
Have three document boxes, that’s it.
1. Needs Attention
Bills, Vehicle Registration Renewal Notices, Etc.
2. To Scan
Any information that needs to be put in its digital folder.
3. To Shred
All sensitive information that cannot go into the general trash.

Ideally, when you open the mail, immediately toss what needs to be thrown into the garbage (the fourth document box, ha!) File any hard copies in your file box, immediately pay any bills, and then all other information that you cannot get to right away goes into one of the three document boxes to be taken care of ASAP.Take 5 minutes every day to pay bills, shred, and scan.

I am still a work in progress, so please share any organizing tips you have learned!

-Kim

My Pretty Picky Eater

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Allison, Growing Up: Personal Stories from Then and Now

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I don’t know about the majority of moms out there, but I know that for me, I have kids who are picky when it comes to food. I think my kids could survive on 3 things: Oatmeal, Apples, & Cheetos.

I am always trying to come up with new ways to get my kids to eat their food. I’ve tried those little plates with the face on them that you can use their food to make up their hair and clothes. I have tried telling them stories about there being a party in their tummy that their broccoli needs to get to. The only way they can get there is to enter through their mouth and then go down the fun slide into their tummy to the party! They like that one a lot!

One day, my daughter Ramona refused to eat her oatmeal. I tried bribing her and disciplining her. She is a very stubborn child, and very adventurous as well. Finally, I came up with something that worked…SPRINKLES!!! Ramona Eating

Who knew!? I put ordinary-rainbow colored sprinkles on her oatmeal and she loved it! I guess it’s just the little things in life that make up big results.

photo

What tips do you have for dealing with your little picky eaters?

~Allison

31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband: Day 13

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by in Devotionals, Kim

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DAY 13: PURITY

Walking down the aisle

When I was little, we loved to watch movies as a family. Friday night, we would head down to Movie World and pick out some new VHS flick. Occasionally, even PG movies would have an unexpected nude backside or conversation between father and son on the topic of, uh oh…sex! My parents would readily edit the tape by a quick, “Don’t look!” or “Cover your ears!” while they scrambled to press the fast forward button. I noticed as I got older, that even when the room was filled with “mature” adults, my parents would still skip over any questionable scene. I realized that they were not only protecting us, but themselves, their purity, and their marriage.

Today, my prayer is for both my husband and myself:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the precious gift of marriage, and I pray that we would always hold it in high regard and honor, undefiled and pure (Hebrews 13:4). I pray that my husband and I would always be on guard against any temptation or thought that would threaten the purity of our marriage (1 Corinthians 10:13). May we be quick to identify any sexual sin, and run away fast (1 Corinthians 6:18). I pray that you would sanctify us, and give us all self-control so that we may live in purity and righteousness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Romans 6:11-14). Thank you, Lord, that You have been where we are and that You understand all the temptations that we face every day (Hebrews 4:15-16). Continue to strengthen our marriage and may we continue to serve You.

Amen

~Kim

What Does the Bible Say About Sexual Purity?

1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Hebrews 13:4 ESV
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

Galatians 5:13 ESV
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Hebrews 4:15-16 ESV
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Romans 6:11-14 ESV
“So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.”

Beautiful

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by in Growing Up: Personal Stories from Then and Now, Heather

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I was always a tall lanky skinny child. My coordination wasn’t all that great but I had a stellar personality that made up for it. Puberty is hard on a girl. The changes and transitions between little girl to a woman are hard. heatherThere are lots of emotions that take place and sometimes you doubt that you are pretty. I sometimes had these thoughts that I wasn’t beautiful and was more awkward than beautiful. I didn’t let this get me down, though. I enjoyed life and all that it had to offer. But occasionally the feelings would emerge and I would have to deal with them. One Saturday morning, I woke up and I just didn’t feel like I looked good. I remember walking outside to tell my dad something. He was working in his garden and when I came out he looked up and paused a second and then he said something that changed my self image. He said, “Heather, you are beautiful. You have really become a beautiful woman.” I was stunned! I didn’t know what to do. I thought I wasn’t beautiful and I was awkward, but not in my Daddy’s eyes! He spoke truth into my life. He spoke words that a little girl learning to transition into womanhood needed to hear from her Dad. I shyly told my Dad thank you and then went back into the house. I treasured those words then and I treasure those words today in my heart. I encourage each of to use your words to speak truth over someone because you may be the person that changes them for life.

heather signature

 

Heather and Dad

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